Spiderfan's 2019 Web of Football Week 5 Oct 8, 2019 10:01:14 GMT -8
Post by spiderfan on Oct 8, 2019 10:01:14 GMT -8
Zdravo SCtoC, it is I, Spiderfan and being that Week 5 is done, it is time to have fun... golly that is a bad pun. You know what the title is, so without further ado, let us begin!
Afternoon Action is awesome
Week 5 was front loaded with the vast majority of the games this week. Because of that, I'll being doing an expanded version of my usual Zone Coverage section to talk about them.
-Gardner Mishew is good. However, the idea that he should replace Foles is much as I think Foles would be better than Minshew is right now. As for the Panthers? Even though Kyle Allen has fumbled the ball more than he should, that Panthers team looks better with Allen at the helm that it did with Cam in the first 2 games. Oh, and Kyle Allen is undefeated as starter, something Minshew is not.
-Despite their continued redzone and O-line struggles, the Cardinals pulled out a hard fought win against the Bengals. Congrats to Kyler Murray and Kliff Kingsbury for winning their first NFL game, hopefully the first of many.
-The Falcons are in a tricky spot. Not only are they 1-4, but after last year, the Falcons brought in a new coaching staff minus the HC Dan Quinn, so the question becomes whether or not the Falcons need to completely clean house and start over because the coaching staff overhaul didn't work. Things are going to get worse before they get better, so I think a new regime is in order.
-Teddy Bridgewater is going to succeed Drew Brees. He has shown he can lead the Saints to wins in different ways, and I think that the second Brees retires, Bridgewater will be the no doubt starter.
-The Vikings won a game most of the country didn't see? Absolutely shocking (sarcasm intended). As for the Giants? Daniel Jones made some rookie mistakes for the first time and it cost them. He'll get better though, so I wouldn't worry about it.
-For all the trash that was talked against Jon Gruden for trading Khalil Mack, that win against Da Bears had to be as sweet as candy from a Vegas candy shop. Trust the Gruden, people.
-The Earl Thomas hit against Mason Rudolph wasn't THAT bad. Putting that aside, great win by the Ravens and with the current state of the AFC North, I think I was correct in predicting that they would win the division.
-Titans fans are not happy people right now. Why should they be? The Titans missed 4 FGs and the team overall is below average. With that said, the Bills are looking like a playoff team, so I do want to give them some credit.
Jerry's Wacky Deli
Because I am THAT guy, I am going to talk about the Packers-Cowboys game using a clip from 90s Nick classic Rocko's Modern Life.
Above is the clip from the episode of Rocko's Modern Life where Rocko and pals make the worst cartoon ever (although it appears that Aqua Teen Hunger Force was directly inspired by this, but I am going down a rabbit hole). That cartoon? Wacky Deli. What does this all have to do with football? Well, for starters watch the clip knowing that Aaron Rodgers and the Packers are DA CHEESE. The salami is Cowboys HC Jason Garrett, the bologna are the refs, the meatloaf is the Cowboys fanbase, and the actual Deli itself is Jerry Jones' own zillion dollar playpen AT&T Stadium.
Don't get my futile attempt at symbolism? Ok, well the Green Bay, Wisconsin Packers are really good. Jason Garrett got a flag thrown because he swore at the refs and the Cowboys fanbase hopes are being squashed.
Outside of my attempt at artsy, yet cartoony symbolism, I would like to mention that DAK PRESCOTT DOES NOT DESERVE ANYWHERE NEAR FORTY MILLION DOLLARS PER YEAR!!! I know the Cowboys scouting department consists of guys who all stink at their jobs at actually scouting talented players, but the idea that they can't find someone better than Dak in one of the next 2 drafts is absurd. No Cowboys, the devil you know, is not better than the angel you might know, hence the term ANGEL.
But Jerry and Stephen and their other incompetent yes men will only keep the team down by paying Dak something like 5 years 200 million 150 guaranteed. Calling it now.
Arrowheaded to a loss
I don't the like Colts. I don't like their Big 10 football shtick. I don't like the Colts owner Jim Irsay. I don't like Colts GM Chris Ballard. I think Colts QB Jacoby Brissett is incredibly overrated. I still don't like that the Colts threw Peyton Manning to the curb for Andrew Luck (which considering Luck wasn't as good as Peyton was with the Broncos, I think that was a poor football decision, putting aside my pro-Peyton bias). However, after SNF I have to give the Colts a lot of credit for their victory over the Kansas City Chiefs.
The Colts defense stifled the most prolific offense in football, which is surprising, considering the Colts use a zone defense, which on paper the Chiefs should torn up. The Colts offense had an incredibly effective run game which not only chewed clock, thus keeping the Chiefs offense off the field, but it also consistently got yardage. The Chiefs defense simply had no answers. The Chiefs offense was out of rhythm and the Chiefs offensive line struggled to contain the Colts pass rush (something which also occurred against the Lions last week).
The icing on the Colts victory cake? Former Chief Justin Houston stopped the Chiefs on a critical 4th down inside the Chiefs 30 yard which set up the game clinching FG for the Colts. Be weary next time your team cuts a long time member of the team and then that person goes to another team. Karma may be in order sooner or later. For the Chiefs? Sooner and not the Oklahoma kind of Sooner either.
ROAD TO 0-16
This is the segment I do, celebrating the very worst the NFL has to offer. After week 5 the 0-for teams are:
New York Jets
I picked the Washington Redskins to win the NFC East. Yeah.... that didn't turn out. The Redskins have now fired HC Jay Gruden and O-line coach (and former Oakland Raiders and Nebraska HC) Bill Callahan is the now the head HC. It sounds like Callahan is going to try to get the run game going, which I think is smart because the run game helped the Redskins win a bunch of games last year. Because of Gruden is out, I think Callahan will lead the Redskins to at least a few wins so I don't think they'll be winless much longer. In fact, considering that the Redskins management isn't regarded highly, I could see the Redskins having Callahan end up being earning the HC job similar to how Doug Marrone got the Jags HC job.
There really isn't a whole lot to say about the other winless teams this week, other than that the Dolphins will play both the Redskins and the Jets over the next few weeks, so the Tua or Jalen Hurts or Joe Burrow sweepstakes will be decided pretty soon. The teams most likely to go 0-16 IMO are the Dolphins and Bengals.
Also, correction from last week: The Broncos went sackless for 3 games not 4.
ROAD TO 16-0
This is the segment I do, celebrating the very best the NFL has to offer. After week 5 the undefeated teams are:
New England Patriots
San Francisco 49ers
The Patriots I expect to be here. The 49ers? I am shocked that they are still here and after watching them demolish the Browns, I gotta say that the 49ers are legit. The defense has done wonders this season and Jimmy G is the real deal. Even still, the team IMO that is most likely to 16-0 are the Patriots. They've done it once before and they'll have a good shot at doing it again.
Folks, that is my Web of Football for Week 5 of the NFL season. I hope ya enjoyed and I hope to see ya next week. This is spiderfan out.