Post by spiderfan on Nov 2, 2020 21:22:16 GMT -8
Happy Halloween SCtoC! Oh it isn't Halloween anymore? Well, I'm gonna wish it to ya anyway because I want to. I also want to talk about Week 8 of the NFL season, so let us begin!
Tim Burton's The Nightmare after Halloween
Don't ya love it when 2 well below .500 teams play on a primetime game? No? Well, in the NFL's defense usually those are unfortunate scheduling accidents that are a product of the existence of Thursday Night Football and Monday Night Football. But on Sunday Night Football? The league usually makes sure those don't happen. Cowboys-Eagles wasn't an unfortunate scheduling accident, it was actually an important game to determine who has the lead in the NFC East and who ultimately will make the postseason. See, one of the products of the NFL's "divisions matter" playoff structure is that regardless of the record of a division winner, that division winner not only makes the postseason but has a home playoff game. This has resulted in 2 teams (the 2010 Seahawks and 2014 Panthers) with losing records making the playoffs. However, it is worth mentioning that both of those teams would win those playoff games and move on to the second record of the playoffs, so despite looking like cupcakes, they were actually fine deserts (slick pun by me FTW!). That is why despite the Cowboys being 2-5 and the Eagles being 2-4-1 that the game wasn't flexed... and also the fact that Philly and Dallas are 2 name brand teams with massive fanbases which equals big ratings.
The game was exactly what you would expect from 2 well below .500 teams: A well below average game. Cowboys third string QB Ben DiNucci decided to dress as Patrick Mahomes for this day after Halloween game, throwing sidearm passes and running around trying to make things happen. Which would have been cute in the touch football game played at the Halloween Bash in the parking lot of Jerry's BBQ in Fayetteville, Arkansas, but being that was an actual NFL game played at an actual NFL stadium and Ben DiNucci is a guy that will end up teaching Constitution 101 at a junior college, pretending to be Patrick Mahomes wasn't a good idea. Adding fuel to the dumpster fire was Cowboys OC Kellen Moore who decided to run every Chris Petersen trick play and The Annexation of Puerto Rico in an attempt to generate offensive points and didn't even get into the red zone until garbage time.
Despite DiNucci's Dollar Tree bought Mahomes cosplay and Moore's unsuccessful trickery, the Cowboys actually managed to stay in the game because Eagles QB Carson Wentz suffers what WebMD refers to as "Jameis Winston I must throw interceptions syndrome" and because the Cowboys defense actually showed up to some extent, although admittedly, that may be more of a sign of how bad the Eagles offense than the Cowboys defense is improving. Ultimately, neither Wentz's low Madden awareness rating nor the Cowboys defense dressing up as competent for Halloween had any impact on the outcome because the Eagles defense forced 2 key fumbles both of which kept Cowboys points off the board and the latter of which led to Eagles points which sealed the game.
(Click Watch on YouTube to see the clip)
Welcome to the Football Underworld Jerry and Stephen Jones. Considering how your team is laughably coached, gutless, and heartless it couldn't happen to a more deserving team and it is only fitting that your descent is timed at the exact point of the return of Dez Bryant, who's mistreatment gave you bad karma in the first place.
The Dynasty is Dead
I said during Other Thoughts last week that the Buffalo Bills had a chance to kill the Patriots dynasty and on Sunday they did. Everyone knows that the Patriots have been highly successful since 2001 and their dynasty has managed to maintain itself for a VERY long time and despite various points where it looked like the Patriots were going to go the way of VHS, they managed to continue to win Super Bowls. Those days are over, which shocks me because earlier this season it appeared that they would make another run at things.
Heck, considering the game on Sunday against the Bills was a back and forth game that the Patriots had a good chance of winning, I actually expected to write about how the Bills missed their opportunity to take the AFC East from the Patriots. Instead, this happened (click Watch on YouTube to see clip)
The Patriots are now 2-5 and a distant 3rd place in the AFC East and 3 games behind a wild card spot. The Bills meanwhile are 6-2 and have a big lead in the AFC East and could end up with the #1 seed in the AFC when things are all said and done.
Other thoughts:
-Congrats to Tua Tagovailoa for his first win as an NFL QB! Hopefully, this is the start of a successful and healthy career!
-Congrats to the Vikings and Bengals on their upset wins!
-The Raiders are going to make the AFC West interesting, the Chargers won't.
-And so ends the Gardner Minshew era in Jacksonville. Good luck to Jake Luton!
-The Bears with Nick Foles are scrappy which is why I think they'll make the playoffs, despite their inconsistent play
-When you watch a Tinys game, you wait for the loss to happen. It happened against the Bucs. #notsurprised
-I know I'm repeating myself, but DK Metcalf is the best WR in the NFL.
ROAD TO 0-16
1 team is currently 0-8. I will keep doing this segment until that team has a win or a tie. The team that is currently without a win or tie is:
New York Jets
I give the Jets credit for waiting until the second half to get blown out. I mean really, the game was actually kinda competitive for a period of time. Regardless, the Jets were blown out because Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes finally had one of his famous GORN (Greatest of Right Now) games with over 400 passing yards and 5 TD passes. Le'Veon Bell who Adam Gase ran out of town because Gase is a locker room cancer, got to serve his former coach a cold dish of revenge despite not producing much yardage, and Jets QB Sam Darnold reinjured his shoulder because keeping him in a blowout loss is a great idea (not). Good luck, Flacco!
ROAD TO 16-0
1 teams is currently undefeated. I will keep doing this segment until that team has a win or a tie. The team that is currently without a win or tie is:
Pittsburgh Steelers
I give the Steelers credit for surviving the Ravens. The Ravens were their toughest opponent yet, and despite the Ravens having a lead throughout in spite of Lamar Jackson's poor play, the Steelers managed to finish the deal and are still undefeated. Their next 3 opponents are the Cowboys, Bengals, and Jaguars who are all well below .500, so 3 more wins are expected by most. The Steelers have been infamous for playing down to their competition and the Bengals are no slouch despite their record (they've been close in almost every game they've played this year) so I wouldn't automatically makes them 10-0 going into their Thanksgiving rematch with the Ravens.
Hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween and I hope ya enjoyed this week's Web of Football and I hope to see ya again next week. This is spiderfan out.
