Post by spiderfan on Sept 5, 2021 12:11:38 GMT -8
The greatest game in the world is back (Ok, college football has been around and the preseason has been played but the NFL regular season is better than both of those)! With that being said it is time for me Spiderfan the official NFL analyst of this great website to preview and predict all 32 NFL teams and give you my Super Bowl 56 picks. Let us begin!
NFC South
1.) Tommy Bay Buccaneers
After completely fulfilling all the hype they had last year, this year the reigning Super Bowl champs have even more hype as living legend QB Tom Brady doesn't have a messed up knee, they brought everyone back, and the team had a full training camp and offseason to properly digest both the offensive and defensive systems. They'll be better than they were last year in the regular season. Can they repeat? We'll see.
2.) Atlanta Falcons
The rest of the NFC South kinda sucks, but of the kinda sucky teams I think the Falcons will do the best because new HC Arthur Smith is talented and new rookie TE Kyle Pitts is one of the best draft prospects in recent memory and barring injury will probably be Offensive Rookie of the Year.
3.) Carolina Panthers
After being the mediocre to outright bad player I expected him to be, The Darnold was dumped by the Jets and is now the new quarterback of the "We really wanted Deshaun Watson but are in limbo because Watson's professional existence is in limbo" Panthers. Star RB Christian McCaffrey is back and Darnold has history with WR Robbie Anderson and it is the second year of The Matt Rhule-Joe Brady era so they could theoretically be good, but Darnold sucks and for the people who didn't see it with the Jets, they'll see it with the Panthers.
4.) New Orleans Saints
First to worst? Yeah. Because Saints HC Sean Payton being the pompous egomaniac that he is, genuinely believes he can make new Saints QB Jameis Winston good. Y'know who also thought that? Bruce Arians who literally came out retirement to try fix him. SPOILER ALERT: The Buccaneers won the Super Bowl the first year he was gone. Yes, Brady and his Amazing Friends Gronk and Antonio Brown obviously played a part, but don't forget that a lot of players on the Bucs Super Bowl team were there before Brady and his Amazing Friends and were brought down by Winston's suckage. He'll bring down the Saints too which will result in hilarious sideline blow ups between the constantly angry Sean Payton and the immature Jameis Winston and will become fodder for all of the talking head shows on ESPN and my very column.
NFC West
1.) Los Angeles Rams
Rams HC Sean McVay's great Jared Goff was holding us back Experiment is going to be the biggest storyline for the the Rams this season because of the massive trade to get rid of Goff, and bring in Living Lions Legend Matt Stafford to replace him. The Rams are loaded with talent and have been a consistently good team during the Sean McVay era and I think that will continue.
2.) Arizona Cardinals
The Cardinals took an already talented and ascending team and added future HoFers JJ Watt and AJ Green to the line up? I think the Cardinals will be a playoff team and one that will be dangerous to play against in the Wild Card round.
3.) Seattle Seahawks
The Seahawks didn't any key contributors in the offseason and despite the football media world playing up drama between Russell Wilson and the Seahawks because people in the football media world fell for Dan Patrick hyping up a random interview with Wilson after the fact, the Seahawks will be good. How good? Hard to tell because they were inconsistent at times last year. That is why I have them in this spot.
4.) San Francisco 49ers
I've said before that Kyle Shanahan is overrated and Jimmy Garoppolo is underrated. I'll now say that I think 49ers rookie QB Trey Lance is a baller who will be one of the better young QBs in the league. With all of that said, the 49ers are always cursed by injuries and the fact that Shanahan isn't as good as other people think he is. In other divisions they would be higher than last place, but the NFC West is the best division in football and even a decent team like the 49ers ends up at the floor.
NFC North
1.) Green Bay Packers
After Aaron Rodgers tried to force a trade to the Denver Broncos and failed because the Packers wanted to have another team other than the Broncos to drive up the price of a trade and didn't get one, the Packers instead reworked Rodgers contract so that he can be traded next year (I will be shocked if it isn't the Broncos). With all of that said, Aaron Rodgers is still in Green Bay temporarily and because of that WR Davante Adams decided to stick around temporarily too. They are by far the best team in the NFC North and will be a team be reckoned with this year.
2.) Detroit Lions
After ridding themselves of the dumpster fire that was Matt Patricia's tenure as the Lions HC, the Lions brought in Dan Campbell who I think will turn the Lions back into a consistent playoff contender/playoff team. Add in Jared Goff who has a chip on his shoulder due to the Rams' Jared Goff was holding us back Experiment, and I think the Lions will surprise people this year.
3.) Minnesota Vikings
Mediocrity is the Vikings middle name and they have done nothing to make think that won't change.
4.) Da Bears
Let me start by saying I like Andy Dalton. He seems like a very nice human being and has been a solid quarterback for a number of years. With that being said, shame on Bears HC Matt Nagy for making Andy Dalton the most hated player, if not person in the city of Chicago all to prove some stupid point about how "sitting and watching makes players infinitely better". Literally everyone can see rookie QB Justin Fields should be the starter for Da Bears. No one thinks Nagy's point about how "sitting and watching makes players infinitely better" is valid and I think it will result in Nagy getting fired. I'm happy for the next coach of Da Bears who gets to coach Justin Fields.
NFC East
1.) Washington Artists Formerly Known as Redskins
They have the coach in Ron Rivera. They have the great defense. They have a talented offense. Now, they have Ryan Fitzpatrick coming off of a year where he shouldn't have been benched and got COVID-19 and if one or both of things didn't happen it could be argued that the Dolphins would have made the playoffs last year. I think Fitzpatrick is going to be motivated and play some of the best football of his career, and if the magic stops he becomes Fitztragic, I think the combination of Taylor Heinicke and/or Kyle Allen will be more than enough to get the Football Team into the playoffs and possibly more.
2.) Philadelphia Eagles
Now that the Eagles have rid themselves of the overrated Carson Wentz and replaced him with Jalen Hurts, the Eagles will be much better than they were last year. I do have concerns that new Eagles HC Nick Sirianni is in over his head, but I could totally be wrong. I've been wrong before.
3.) Dallas Cowboys
Yes, the Cowboys had numerous injuries last year which the DFW media complex uses as an excuse to distract from the fact that Aaron Rodgers was right and that Mike McCarthy is a complete and total buffoon who has no idea what he is doing. Add on Cowboys OC Kellen Moore who was given a raise because the Jones' desperately didn't want Moore to become the HC of Boise State. Why? In my opinion it is because they want Moore to become the HC of the Cowboys at some point, just like what they did with Jason Garrett. If the Jones' think as highly of him as they clearly do they should just make him the the head coach. They won't now because he obviously not qualified, but somehow in their minds he WILL be at some point. It is stupid, just like the contract extension they gave Dak Prescott which they gave him because the Jones' realize that outside of offensive linemen their scouting department is probably the worst in the NFL. Seriously, they have zero depth on their roster and outside of skill position players and offensive linemen they suck as a team. They'll somehow not bottom out and will get a bunch of national TV games despite not being very good. But the Jones' can take solace in the fact that they aren't the Tinys.
4.) New York Football Tinys
Does it even matter at this point? The Tinys are cursed and I have no reason to believe they won't be cursed this season. Yet another year of me mocking them every other week is in store.
AFC South
1.) Tennessee Titans
The Titans are by far the best team in the AFC South. They have been a very good team in the Mike Vrabel era and now with addition of WR Julio Jones and the division being the weakest it has been in years, the Titans are a shoo in.
2.) Indianapolis Colts
In most divisions the Colts would probably be 3rd or 4th but in the AFC South the Colts get the benefit of having 2 rebuilding teams below them. Don't buy into the Colts hype machine, the football media world has been doing that every year post the Suck for Luck season of 2011 and outside of the infamous AFC Finalist season of 2014 it has amounted to nothing. It will continue to amount to nothing, although this time the star of the flop show will be Carson Wentz who just came off a season where he single handedly cost the Eagles a NFC East title and a spot in the playoffs. Oh and he has to play 17 games because the season expanded. I don't wish him injury, but I'll be totally shocked if he lasts anywhere near 17 games. Although if the Colts do fake their way into a decent record, I look forward to Sam Ehlinger becoming the next Nick Foles.
3.) Jacksonville Jaguars
Urban Meyer and Trevor Lawrence make their debut this season and it will be one of those years where they lose a lot of games, but they'll have a few upsets and solid wins against bad teams be optimistic going into next year.
4.) Houston Texans
Ok, it is time for me to address the Cthulhu in the room. Deshaun Watson is in trouble. Like real trouble. I will not go into the details on this family friendly forum, what I will say is that Watson ain't going to be playing football for a LONG time, no one knows yet how long and it is arguably irresponsible to guess exactly how long that LONG time will be, but it will be a LONG time. With that being the case, I think the Texans should trade Watson and get anything they can because he won't have much trade value if/when he goes directly to jail and doesn't pass GO and does not collect his millions of dollars.
Add on that the Texans are now reeling from the lasting damage that Bill O'Brien caused as the czar of the Texans organization and they have quite possibly the most underqualified head coach in the NFL today (Seriously, David Culley's resume while long is actually terrible) and the Texans are in for a long season. The benefit? They actually have their first round pick this year and will have the pick of the litter when it comes draft time.
AFC West
1.) Kansas City Chiefs
There is no better team in the AFC right now than the Chiefs. They are still as good as ever offensively with a rebuilt offensive line and defensively they will be better than they have been in recent years due to the fact that the players are now in year 2 of Spagnulo's defensive scheme. I expect another deep playoff run.
2.) Los Angeles Chargers
If new Chargers HC Brandon Staley can stop the Chargers from losing games in heartbreaking last second fashion, the Chargers are going to be a force to be reckoned with because they are way talented on both sides of the ball. If Staley can't fix the late heartbreaking losses? That talent will be all for naught.
3.) Las Vegas Raiders
The Raiders have steadily gotten better during the Jon Gruden era and if new DC Gus Bradley is all he is cracked up to be I think the Raiders will finally make the postseason under the new-Gruden era.
4.) Denver Broncos
After a QB competition in which unintentional journeyman Teddy Bridgewater beat out failed Elway picked Quarterback #2 (Known to the world as Drew Lock), the Broncos are now entering the "We really wanted Aaron Rodgers and didn't get him although we hope we can get him next year" era, which while you see that happen in other sports leagues, you don't see that in the NFL very often. The Broncos will have no below average season where they are irrelevant, Vic Fangio will get fired, and whoever the next guy is will probably have Aaron Rodgers as his quarterback. Good for you (insert 2022 Broncos HC)!
AFC North
1.) Baltimore Ravens
Even with the loss of JK Dobbins for the year, the Ravens are so well built and so well coached that I think the Ravens are a shoo in to the postseason.
2.) Cleveland Browns
There is a lot of hype about the Browns this year and they may do better than I think, but what I think is that they won't fully live up to the hype because we are talking about the Cleveland Browns after all.
3.) Cincinnati Bengals
Yes, Ja'Marr Chase had an awful preseason but he hadn't played football in a long time and as someone who watched a lot of LSU Tiger football, I can tell you that his and Burrow's connection is special. The Bengals will be improved this year.
4.) Pittsburgh Steelers
The Steelers collapse last year was a football catastrophe. The question becomes was it an outlier or are the Steelers on their way down from being consistent playoff team/playoff contenders to being a bad team? I think it shows they are on their way to being a bad team. They'll probably have some good wins this year and there might even be a point when they look like they are going to make the postseason, but with the quality teams in the AFC, the age of Big Ben, and the TJ Watt contract drama (Remember what happened to the Steelers last time one of their best players had contract drama?) I don't see them making the playoffs and I see the late part of this season being the beginning of soul searching for one of the NFL's premier franchises.
AFC East
1.) Buffalo Bills
The Bills are the best they have been in a long time and with Josh Allen completely obliterating my pre-draft perceptions of him last year (I called him the next Jamarcus Russell), the Bills are set up for long term success. Back to back AFC East champs for the first time since the 90s.
2.) New England Patriots
The Patriots went on a spending spree this offseason giving the offense weapons it desperately needed and added the QB of the reigning national champion Alabama Crimson Tide Mac Jones to replace (sadly) washed up Cam Newton who didn't make the final roster cuts. I think the Patriots will be much better than they were a year ago and I think a postseason trip is likely.
3.) Miami Dolphins
Remember all of that stuff I said about Deshaun Watson? While all of that directly affects the Texans, it indirectly affects the Dolphins because Watson wants to play for the Dolphins and judging by reports they want him too. The problem is the aforementioned Cthulhu in the room of... Deshaun Watson and him being in like real trouble. So where does that leave the Dolphins? It leaves them with an underperforming Tua and an otherwise talented roster needing a better QB to get the job done. As far as I'm concerned it is karma for how the Dolphins treated Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Dolphins deserve it.
4.) New York Jets
Robert Saleh and Zach Wilson make their debut this season and it will be one of those years where they lose a lot of games, but they'll have a few upsets and solid wins against bad teams be optimistic going into next year. They are literally in the same spot as the Jaguars just in a better division.
Spiderfan's Official Super Bowl 56 Prediction: Chiefs-Buccaneers
And with all of that said, I am hyped for the return of the National Football League, the greatest sports league in the world. I look forward to sharing this season with all of you fine people. As always I hope ya enjoyed, and I hope to see ya Week 1! This is spiderfan out.
