Post by spiderfan on Oct 24, 2022 19:45:04 GMT -8
Happy Week Before Halloween SCtoC, it is yours truly, Spiderfan, back with yet another edition of Red Hot Gridiron, this time for Week 7. Without further ado let us begin!
The Size Increasing Tinys
Christian Kirk missing the goal line changed the whole direction of this week's column. I thought I was going to do another one of my long time recurring segments where I roast the NFC team from New York (technically New Jersey) in excruciatingly obnoxious detail with random clips of Reducto from Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law thrown in because after all he is the mascot I have deemed for them. And speaking of excruciatingly obnoxious I know every week I point out "I thought I was going to write THIS, but I'm writing THIS", but 1.) it's my column and 2.) this week it actually bothered me.
Usually, I say that line to point out how completely unpredictable the NFL is as a whole, thus proving how great of a league, and how great of a sport professional football is. The thing is, I'm bothered because I'm missing my opportunity to be a hater, which bothers me because I would actually prefer to not be a hater, but every single time in the past I have tried to give the Tinys the respect they clearly deserve in the moment, they have shrunk back down to size.
Was it a complete hot take to get off the "Brian Daboll has turned the ship around" bandwagon? It was a scorching hot on the gridiron level take. I should feel embarrassed for having done such a take and usually unlike other hot take artists in the sports media world who hold themselves to less than zero accountability for their hot takes, I try to run things differently where I point out out my own flaws. Except in this case I don't want to admit that I'm wrong because the seemingly likely scenario that I'll have to backtrack on admitting that I was wrong that I was wrong, causing a hot take vortex.
Therefore, despite the Tinys not choking in humiliating fashion against the Jaguars even though it appeared that they would, I am still going to call them the Tinys. They may end up the season with a great record, they may end up going on a deep playoff run, but I STILL refuse to believe that they won't shrink. If my negative energy toward them somehow leads them to winning a Super Bowl, you're welcome Tinys fans.
Matty Ice to the Glue Factory
The first thing that popped into my mind when it was announced that the Colts had benched Matt Ryan was this article from not even 2 days ago:
After looking like they had finally figured it out, the Colts came back down to earth. My prediction of them making the playoffs is shaky at best currently. The last two sentences you just read? Those were originally going to be in other thoughts as my thoughts on the Colts THEN Ryan got benched. Now my thoughts are... still the same which is why I copy and pasted those sentences into this segment.
See, I don't think Sam Ehlinger is very good and not because of the generic "Oh he is a 5th round pick" nonsense that would come from someone who never saw him play in college. I actually watched him play in college for Texas and he wasn't very good. In fact I still believe that the guy who he replaced as the starting QB of Texas (who would later transfer to SMU) Shane Buechele is a better QB. Sure, Ehlinger is scrappy and determined, but that is all he has going for him. That style of play had mixed results in college, and I will go out on a limb and heavily doubt its success in the NFL.
As for Matt Ryan, he has had a great career and is a borderline Hall of Famer. At this point I doubt if he ever starts a game again, although because he has a bunch of guaranteed money left in his contract, I could see him pulling a Nick Foles and hang around as a backup to collect the money. Similar to Russell Wilson, Matt Ryan thought the grass was greener on the other side. As it turns out, what was on the other side was the glue factory.
Christian McCaffrey to 49ers
In exchange for a whole bunch of draft picks the Stanford Cardinal legend is now a 49er. I think it is a good move for the 49ers. The NFC West is a highly competitive division and one where you are going to need playmakers to make plays. McCaffrey, when healthy, is a playmaker who makes plays. I know that isn't the most in depth analysis on the situation, but I really don't have anymore to say about it.
XFL > NFL?
This is the best tweet I've seen all season
Other thoughts:
-The Kliff Kingsbury era in Arizona has been repeated seasons of starting out great ending poorly. Seems to me they are due to start out out poorly and end great.
-The Ravens pulling out a close win should be impressive in light of their struggles to win such games this season. However, it was against the Browns who themselves are infamous for losing close games, so in the end it is a wash.
-Congrats to Steve Wilks for his first win as the interim head coach of the Carolina Panthers!
-Yes, the Buccaneers are 3-4 and yes, they look as below average as their record indicates. HOWEVER, they play in the worst division in the NFL and they still have a lot of talent, so I'm not writing them off.
-It appears that the Bengals are out of their Super Bowl hangover. The rest of the AFC should watch out for the reigning conference champions.
-Because the DFW sports media complex and the people who consume products from that media complex love Dak, the immensley flawed logic of the Cowboys winning a game that they would have won with Cooper Rush anyway equaling "dAk iS ElItE ToP FiVe qUaRtErBaCk" doesn't seem like immensely flawed logic.
-Similar to the Buccaneers, I'm not writing off the Packers. They have less talent than the Buccaneers, but Aaron Rodgers is arguably the best QB in the NFL, so I think at any point they could go on a run and be a playoff team.
-The Texans are low key in the running for the #1 pick.
-Think of it this way Broncos, you still would have lost anyway if Russell Wilson was healthy.
-With Breece Hall sadly tearing his ACL, I'm not sure the Jets good record is sustainable in the long run.
-The 49ers are a solid team. They were NEVER going to win a shootout with the Chiefs. They tried to win a shootout and wouldn't ya know? They lost.
-Once again, the Seahawks overperform and the Chargers underperform. It's the definition of a recurring outcome.
-Tua looked absolutely determined to give the game to the Steelers on '72 Dolphins Celebration Night and failed because the I guess Steelers defense felt bad about ruining the celebration and decided to drop easy interceptions.
-Those 10 minutes when Bailey Zappe looked like the next Tom Brady were sure fun weren't they? Shame on the Bears for ruining such a feel good moment.
Will The Philadelphia Eagles Go 17-0?
The Eagles chase to become match the '72 Dolphins was on a bye this week. Although, the Phillies did win the National League pennant and are going to the World Series, so the Philadelphia area had plenty to celebrate this week regardless.
With that said Week 7 of the NFL season is now in the books. As always I hope ya enjoyed and hope to see ya again next week. Remember, football is the greatest game in the world. This is spiderfan out. Go Astros!
